Parenting through separation
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Children and parents are in the final stretch towards the school summer holiday. For children, it is the promise of carefree abandon, away from school to do what they want, with pushed bedtimes and boundaries. For parents, it is time to relax a little outside of the weekly school routine, but with the additional headache of juggling childcare and work for those with younger children. But for both children and parents, there is the potential of a memory-building summer holiday abroad to look forward to.
Planning a family holiday should be fun, but for separated and divorced parents, there are additional factors to consider when making holiday plans.
Avoid holiday woes with transparency
Open communication and sharing full travel details can aid co-parenting and create trust.
The starting point is communication about your proposed holiday plans and to be respectful of the child arrangements already in place. It is not a wise decision to book a holiday when the children would ordinarily be spending time with the other parent, unless the other parent has agreed. Of course, there may need to be some flexibility with dates, but working together to ensure that the children do not miss out on a holiday should be the priority. There should be no secrets or hidden surprises when it comes to providing the other parent with full written details of the holiday arrangements, to include travel details (for example flight, ferry or Eurostar information), resort/hotel information, or where you will be staying if visiting family or friends. Do not be surprised if the other parent requests a copy of the travel tickets and booking confirmations and consider whether this is a reasonable request for your particular circumstances before responding. Emergency contact details should also be provided to the parent staying at home, and, if possible, also the numbers of hotels/friends with whom you will be staying. This is not necessarily a point of control, but just a matter of safety.
Travelling abroad: are you inadvertently abducting your children?
Consent from the other parent is usually necessary and scheduled contact should be factored into holiday planning.
A parent must obtain the permission of the other parent (or indeed anyone with parental responsibility) if they want to take their children abroad on holiday. An exception to this is if you have a Child Arrangements Order (or a Residence Order if made prior to April 2024) in which you are named as the parent with whom the children live. This will enable you to take the children abroad for up to 28 days without the specific permission of the other parent, unless the Child Arrangements Order itself specifically prohibits or limits travel abroad. This does not mean, however, that you should or could book travel during the other parent’s contact without their agreement. Such a step might put you in breach of an agreement or order.
Conversely, if you have a Child Arrangements Order in which you are named as the parent with whom the children spends time and the other parent is named as the one with whom the children live, they do not need your permission to take the children abroad on holiday, but you will still require their permission to do so. If, however, you believe there are circumstances that have arisen that should prevent the other parent from taking the children abroad, then you will need to apply to court for a Prohibited Steps Order preventing the travel.
Taking the children abroad without the permission of the other parent, where permission is required, is classified as child abduction. Such action is a criminal offence and would seriously and negatively impact upon future arrangements with your children.
So, if you are unable to agree arrangements for a holiday, then assistance from a solicitor or mediator could help bridge that divide. If, after supported attempts to reach an agreement, the other parent still refuses permission for you to take the children abroad, then the final option available to you would be to seek permission from the court.
Ready to travel: what paperwork do I need?
Taking a court order giving permission to travel and/or a letter of consent is essential.
Permission has been obtained, travel arrangements have been made, and resort/hotels have been booked. In addition to the children’s passports, the parent travelling with the children should also bring a copy of any relevant court order.
For parents who have agreed living arrangements in respect of their children, without court intervention, then there will be no court order. In those circumstances, when the parents are in agreement about the holiday arrangements, then a letter from the other parent confirming their agreement should also be obtained. Such a letter should include the other parent’s contact details. This could help to answer any questions that border control may have when you leave or re-enter the UK.
We have different surnames: does this matter?
Taking paperwork to prove the relationship with the children will assist.
There is no problem travelling with children who have a different surname from you, but you could expect some additional questions from border control, so be prepared. In those circumstances, you should travel with a copy of the children’s birth or adoption certificate. Further, where a mother for example has reverted to her maiden name following a divorce, then a copy of the Final Divorce Order (formerly a Decree Absolute) or Change of Name Deed (for the parent or the children) might assist. An explanation could be added to any letter of permission provided by the other parent.
Staying in touch
Being respectful of each other’s time with the children promotes co-parenting and reassures both parents and children.
An agreement may need to be reached about what contact, if any, should happen while the children are with the other parent. It may be that, particularly for younger children, there should be some telephone or video call contact with the other parent. For those with teenagers in possession of a mobile phone, that will no doubt be the solution. But the parent staying at home needs to be respectful of the holiday time the other parent has with the children and should not place unreasonable demands upon the other parent for staying in touch. Equally, the parent on holiday with the children should be respectful of the other parent and help to facilitate some contact. Thinking about how the other parent might feel can foster respectful co-parenting relationships and provide reassurance not just to the other parent but also to the children.
If you have questions about taking your children abroad for a holiday, then please contact us.
